Nurse Jane Pays a Call

“I’m glad to see you!” Jane from exclaims in her warm voice that is in itself an embrace.

Bea peers suspiciously out from under her covers and asks, “Who are you?”

“Jane. I’m a nurse. I keep an eye on everyone. Do you think I do that well?”

“You do that well. Now just stay away and let me sleep.”

Bea has been in a bad mood all morning, so I am not expecting her cooperation coefficient to be any higher than a 5. Still, she has been complaining of pain on her coccyx and passed some old blood in her urine, so this visit is necessary. I play show-and-tell with Jane who examines the discarded brief and says she will inform Bea’s doctor.

“Do you have any problems?” Jane asks, always solicitous.

“No. Just leave me alone.’

“Can I take your blood pressure?”

“No.”

“Oh! Okay.”

With a shrug, Jane sits down in the rocking chair and begins to rock. The two of us are chatting when out of the blue Bea announces, “Everybody’s going to have chocolate ice cream.”

“With nuts?” asks Jane. “And whipped cream? A cherry on top?”

“Anything you say.”

“She’s a hoot,” Jane declares. "I just love my patients!"

We continue talking, so Bea asks, “What are you people doing here?”

“We’re visiting,” says Jane. “Had any company lately?”

“No.”

“Parties?”

“No. Now go away.”

“My pleasure.”

“Strange pleasure!”

We then proceed to change Bea. I report that she tends to reposition herself on her back, despite the pillows wedged conscientiously behind her. Jane replaces the Duoderme while I hold Bea on her side.

“Are you warm and toasty now?” Jane asks afterwards.

“Yes, thank you.”

“So, you are going to stay on your side this time?”

“I just want to go to sleep.”

“Can I take your blood pressure now?”

“Oh, okay.”

“You look like you’re in a cocoon, all safe and warm …”

Jane’s report: Bea is doing pretty well, except for the red spot on her coccyx. She has no congestion, her heartbeat is nice and regular.

Everything is hunky-dory.