Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The Beginning of the End

BEA: “Are you my mother?”

ME: “Well, sort of. I take care of you.”

BEA: “That’s a no.”

The morphine from last night has worn off, and Bea’s marvelous mind kicks in. How I will miss it!

Yesterday Nurse Jane showed me how to administer the medication. Bea still talked all night, off and on, a rumble breaking into my consciousness like radio static. I gave mini-sips of water and a second dose around 2 a.m.

Her voice is hoarse but jubilant when I tiptoe in at daybreak.

BEA: “We’re going for a ride.”

ME: “What fun! Can I sit in the rumble seat?”

BEA: “Sure!”

Imagine windows in a house, at night. The lights go out, one at a time. This description also fits the human body. Jane tells me Bea’s organs will begin shutting down, one after the other. We will do our best to keep her pain-free and comfortable, during this process.

Now that I think about it, I don’t think I will enjoy the ride so much after all …


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