Resistance

Death is very much on our minds today. It approaches on little cat feet, like Sandburg’s fog, hovering at the window, ready to pounce once Bea shows willingness. Her retreat into herself concerns Lisa, who applies warm hands to Bea’s cheeks, colder than usual. Afterwards, Sven joins us for a brief conversation. We agree that most people cannot cope with the idea of imminent death, be it of a loved one, or oneself. The modern world has made the whole subject taboo.

Indeed, who wants to talk about death? Bea certainly doesn’t when the Chaplain from Hospice & Palliative Care of Cape Cod stops by for a visit. My mother reiterates the wish to “go home”. We discuss her delight at having climbed a Belleville cherry tree as a child. And, she expresses the desire to see her mother again …

I summarize a recent conversation: “Bea expressed fear of death, and I told her it wouldn’t be so bad, that she would be surprised.”

“Pleasantly so perhaps,” adds the Chaplain, who then describes how deceased family members sometimes appear in dreams to show the sick and elderly the way.

Bea listens without comment. “I want to sleep,” she says. “Go away.”